What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What did the bunny say to its crush? Hey there hop stuff.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
Would you mind watching my pet parrot while I’m out, as long as it’s not too much of a birden?
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What do you call an italian mosquito?
Malario.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
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