What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
A kid at the spelling bee was asked to spell "inward"
A teacher tackled him after the first G
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
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