What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
Crowing, crowing, gone.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What kind of turkey grows on a tree? Poultry.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What did the wife beaver say to her astronaut husband? You are otter this world.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.
Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
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