For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?
Me: Wow How about the married ones?
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
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