Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
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