What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Have you ever heard of the Poder bird?
It is also known as the Toucan
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
How do koalas stay in shape? They do bearobics.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
What is the best period of a bee's relationship?
The honeymoon.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
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