Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
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