Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
What soccer position does a pink flamingo play? Flamingoalie.
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What’s black and white, has eight wheels and travels very fast?
A panda on roller skates.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
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