What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
Why did the otter cross the river?
To get to the otter side
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
How does an antisocial crow say about a family party? "It was murder".
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas don’t talk.
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
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