Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare!
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
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