What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique.
Why do mice have long tails?
Well, they’d look silly with long hair!
What do you call a flying turtle?
A shellicopter.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
What does a dinosaur call a porcupine? A toothbrush.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
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