What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What was the most flexible dinosaur? Tyrannosaurus Flex.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
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