What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
A well-loved parrot died, and was digitally immortalized in a 3D rendering.
Polygon but not forgotten.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
Which condiment is a mouse’s favourite?
Mouse-tard.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Of all the best pieces of wolf advice, this is my favorite, “stand fur what you believe”
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A polygon.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
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