What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try and try and try and try-ceratops
Did you know that camels can last longer without water than se*?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
To the nut-house.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they wouldn't take a bath!
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
"How much did you have to drink?"
"About a birds worth."
"What?"
"You know, toucans."
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
What’s gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?
Stalagmice!
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
What is a mosquitos worst fear?
The S.W.A.T Team.
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
What do you call a cross between a donkey and a zebra?
Debra.
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