What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
What’s gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?
Stalagmice!
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
How does an antisocial crow say about a family party? "It was murder".
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
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