What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Why is it a bad idea to get in a fight with a monkey?
Because they use gorilla warfare.
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
Would you mind watching my pet parrot while I’m out, as long as it’s not too much of a birden?
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What do you call a monkey who can’t keep a secret?
A blab-boon.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
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