What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them viperactive.
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.