What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.