What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
Why do mice have long tails?
Well, they’d look silly with long hair!
What goes eek, eek, bang?
A mouse in a minefield!
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
What’s gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?
Stalagmice!
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.