What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
What’s a llama’s favorite drink?
Llamanade.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
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