How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.