What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe.
he dropped the beet.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
Who does the nectarine just do a hair transplant? Because it wants to become a peach.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
He says to the doctor, "Help me Doc, what's the matter with me?"
The doctor replies, "That's easy. You're not eating properly."
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
Q: Why was the cherry by himself?
A: Because the banana split.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis.
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
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