I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple !
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said I was jammed.
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
"Partners in wine."
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?
One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
What happens to Germans when they eat too many lemons?
They become sour krauts.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
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