What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
Which nut is worth the most?
A cash-ew.
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
What do you call a pine-nut in an apple costume? A pine-apple.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
Two peanuts were walking down the road but only one was attacked. They suspect the reason was the other was unsalted.
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
The walnut got in trouble for pecan through the window.
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
Where’s the best place to find out information about pistachios?
The inter-nut.
Go to BabaMail
