What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
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