When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.