What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
What do you give a horse that has just won the Kentucky Derby? An Appletini.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
How do you make dog bread? You use collie flour.
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
Where's a pickle's favorite place to go in London?
Pickle-dilly Square.
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
You've really struck a gourd with me...
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
I heard they sent a beer into space, destined to leave the solar system. They called it Interstella Artois.
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
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