Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
Potato puns are a-peeling.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
I like you a latke!
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
We’re a perfect mash.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.