Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
We’re a perfect mash.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
Time fries when you’re having fun!
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Potato puns are a-peeling.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
I like you a latke!
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
I love you a tot!
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
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