Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
Time fries when you’re having fun!
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
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