Beer Puns

Welcome to (burp) ooh, sorry about that... welcome to Beer Puns!

How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”.
So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
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What do you call a smart beer?
A Pilsnerd.
A mathematician walks into a bar and says, “One beer for me, and 10 beers each for all my friends!”
Bartender: "Now that’s an order of magnitude!"
I tried to give the guy who came to clean our septic tank out a beer. He said, “I’m not the type of guy who drinks on the job.”
I said, “Yeah, you wouldn’t want you’re boss to catch you sh*t faced.”
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
What happened when the beer got divorced?
It became bitter.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
I heard they sent a beer into space, destined to leave the solar system. They called it Interstella Artois.
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50. Deer nuts are under a buck
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
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