I tried to give the guy who came to clean our septic tank out a beer. He said, “I’m not the type of guy who drinks on the job.”
I said, “Yeah, you wouldn’t want you’re boss to catch you sh*t faced.”
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
A mathematician walks into a bar and says, “One beer for me, and 10 beers each for all my friends!”
Bartender: "Now that’s an order of magnitude!"
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50. Deer nuts are under a buck
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”.
So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
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What do you call a smart beer?
A Pilsnerd.
Why did Bill's friend get covered in beer?
Because William Shakes Beer.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
What happened when the beer got divorced?
It became bitter.
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
I heard they sent a beer into space, destined to leave the solar system. They called it Interstella Artois.
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
What's a redneck's favorite beer?
An open one.
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
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