What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
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