Avocado Puns

These puns are avocado this world!

What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
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