I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
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