Vegetable PunsJoke Generator

Well aren't you good little boys and girls, coming to get some Vegetable Puns in your humor diet!

What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
Time to celery-brate.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Everybody romaine calm.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Keep calm and carrot on.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
This foundation is rock salad.
I think therefore I yam.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
I hope for world peas.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?

The broccoli.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
I love you from my head tomato
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
What a spud muffin.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
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