My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Everybody romaine calm.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
Keep calm and carrot on.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
I think therefore I yam.
I love you from my head tomato
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
I yam what I yam.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
I hope for world peas.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
This foundation is rock salad.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
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