What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
Keep calm and carrot on.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
Time to celery-brate.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Everybody romaine calm.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
I yam what I yam.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
I hope for world peas.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
This foundation is rock salad.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
I think therefore I yam.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
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