What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
What a spud muffin.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
I hope for world peas.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
Everybody romaine calm.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Time to celery-brate.
Keep calm and carrot on.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
I think therefore I yam.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
I love you from my head tomato
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
This foundation is rock salad.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
I yam what I yam.
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