Well aren't you good little boys and girls, coming to get some Vegetable Puns in your humor diet!

The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
Time to celery-brate.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Keep calm and carrot on.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
I yam what I yam.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.