Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
I love you from my head tomato
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
This foundation is rock salad.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
Time to celery-brate.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
Everybody romaine calm.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Keep calm and carrot on.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
I yam what I yam.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What a spud muffin.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
I think therefore I yam.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.