"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
"You had me at merlot."
You’re wine in a million.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
"Alcohol you later."
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"It's wine o'clock."
"Love the wine you're with."
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
"I mead more wine."
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
"Rosé all day."
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
"Partners in wine."
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
"You're the wine that I want."
"Great minds drink alike."
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
"Read between the wines."
"Say you'll be wine."
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?