Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
"No wine left behind."
"Adulting makes me wine."
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
"You can't sip with us."
"You're the wine that I want."
"Here for the right riesling."
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
"I make pour decisions."
"Be kind, re-wine."
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
"You had me at merlot."
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
"Alcohol you later."
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
"Love the wine you're with."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
"Back that glass up."
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"Rosé all day."
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
"Will you accept this rosé?"
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
"I mead more wine."
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
"Great minds drink alike."
"Partners in wine."