"Stop and smell the rosé."
"It's wine o'clock."
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
"On cloud wine."
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
"Great minds drink alike."
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
"Love the wine you're with."
"You are so bottlefull to me."
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
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I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"Say you'll be wine."
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
You’re wine in a million.
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
"You can't sip with us."
"Sip happens."
"Rosé all day."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
"Will you accept this rosé?"
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
"I mead more wine."
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
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