Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
"No wine left behind."
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
"Adulting makes me wine."
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
"I make pour decisions."
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
"Love the wine you're with."
"Say you'll be wine."
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
"I mead more wine."
"Sip, sip hooray."
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
"Here for the right riesling."
"Sip happens."
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
"On cloud wine."
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
"Partners in wine."
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
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