Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
"I mead more wine."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
"It's wine o'clock."
"Be kind, re-wine."
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
"Partners in wine."
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
"I need to re-wine my life."
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
"You had me at merlot."
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
"Back that glass up."
"Stop and smell the rosé."
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
"You're the wine that I want."
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
"Will you accept this rosé?"
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
"Time to wine down."
"I make pour decisions."
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
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