How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
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