How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
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