How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.