I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.