How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
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