My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
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