I wasn’t sure if I ordered enough tacos from Taco Bell.
So I got a just in quesadilla.
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
You consomme out of him.
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
"Alcohol you later."
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
Did you hear about the corn stalk that changed careers?
He went into a different field!
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
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