What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
What do you call a single, solitary kernel of corn?
A unicorn!
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
What do the ducks have for dinner? They have Quackers and soup.
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? Because he heard the cakes were rich.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
"I mead more wine."
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.
Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.
Child: Yea...
Dad: Then why is there only one?
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Why was the well done steak a terrible gossip? It wasn't juicy enough!
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
Having chicken broth before the game was a sure shot way to maintain energy for the Soup-er Bowl.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Did you hear about the flatmate who woke up to a spicy toothbrush? He had it cumin.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
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