Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
What do the ducks have for dinner? They have Quackers and soup.
What kind of face cream does a strawberry buys?
Blackhead removal cream and scrub
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
What happened to the zombie that made him visit the doctor? He had a crummy feeling.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
If you are ever babysitting a cherry, remember that their favorite cartoon is Tom And Cherry.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
I love you from my head tomato
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
Did you hear about the corn stalk that changed careers?
He went into a different field!
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
Mom, what do we have for dinner? I cannot tell you, son, it is a soup-rise! Is it soup? I soup-pose it would be.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
I hate it when I run out of bread for breakfast. I am lack-toast intolerant.
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
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