Salad Puns

No need to toss and turn all night looking for the perfect Salad Pun, here you go!

A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Corny on the Cobb.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe.
he dropped the beet.
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
Why was the salad late to the dinner party?
He was waiting for his wife to get dressing.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
What do horses like to put on their egg salad sandwiches?
MayoNAYS!
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
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