What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
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