What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
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