No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
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