How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
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