The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
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