The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
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