How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
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