What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
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