Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
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