While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
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