I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
Why don't anarchists drink green tea?
Because it helps fight free radicals.
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea?
Uncertaintea.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
What's a nervous person's favorite drink?
Insecuri tea!
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
Why do Communists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A tea party.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
What drink scares defense lawyers? Guilt-Tea.
How does a vampire make tea? With a used tampon.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
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