I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
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