What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
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