My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
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