Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
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