Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
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