What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
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