Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
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