The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle? – An Orange County Chopper.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
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