When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
You knead me in your loaf.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
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