"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
How do you make dog bread? You use collie flour.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
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