If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
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