My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
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