Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
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