If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Go to BabaMail
