There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Go to BabaMail
