If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.