Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
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