Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
Q: Why did the cherry stop in the middle of the road?
A: It ran out of juice.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
“I only like lemons,”
Said Michael zestfully.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Who is the funniest fruit around? Cherry Seinfeld.
I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel? A busted nut.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
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