What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
That would be grape.
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? A Macintosh
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Unlike peaches, nectarines don't have any fuzz, because they suffer from Alo-peach-ea.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What do cherries write in love letters? I miss you cherry-bly.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What did the baby corn call his dad?
Pop corn!
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
Q: Why did the fruit finish her homework so quickly?
A: Because the homework was a peach of cake.
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
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