Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A tea party.
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
What do you call a single, solitary kernel of corn?
A unicorn!
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
What excuse did the late watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, I’m just rind the corner.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What is the best way to make gold soup? By adding 22 carrots in it.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Those people are preparing peach gelato because they want to demonstrate their rights to freeze peach!
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
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