What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
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