Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
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