Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
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