How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.