What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.