Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.