Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Miami mice!
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
What do you name a synthetic parrot?
PollyEster
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
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