The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
Why are Siberian tigers so happy at Christmas time? Because it is snowy, and they get to look like white tigers.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have...... a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What is a baby parrot's favourite game? Beak-a-boo!
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
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