Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Because he was playing with a cheetah.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
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