What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
My wife was describing the pair of Toucans the zoo recently acquired.
I responded "You mean a four-can?"
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
When does a Koala go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Why did the monkey like the banana?
Because it had appeal.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
Why did the otter cross the river?
To get to the otter side
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
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