I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
If you have a parrot, it says a lot about you!
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
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