What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
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