How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
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