Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
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