How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
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