I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
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