I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
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