When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.