What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
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