What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
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