Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
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