I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
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