What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!