Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
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