What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.